September 17, 2013 - I've been holding my breath hoping that another mass shooting wouldn't occur, but unfortunately another tragedy was not averted less than twenty-four hours ago. I hope the friends and family members of all those affected in the DC area find support from those around them coping with this tragedy. I also could probably say the same about the victims of the flooding in Colorado and other tragedies across the world. A major theme of the current storyline is dealing with victimization and how we process it as a society, mainly in response to actions taken by malicious individuals such as the gunman in DC or Pam's rapist, and it often can be difficult to find the ability to make the effort to keep moving forward in the wake of such events, especially when they affect us personally. I don't have easy solutions to discuss how to handle such situations, but as this storyline continues I certainly intend to discuss some of the elements with future blogs.
Today, I wanted to talk somewhat about the notions of supporting others and self-advocacy, which is perhaps related to dealing with victims of tragedy but I was more interested in looking at this concept in regard to ongoing situations rather than responding to specific events (though I acknowledge the two can go hand in hand as a specific incident may trigger the need for ongoing recovery). In Patience case the specifics of the origins of her eating disorder are vague, though I'm sure many people may leap to conclusions which I'm not going to deny, but at this point the events leading to her situation are less important that how she can potentially handle it today. And it's very important to note the use of pronoun there and that until this sentence Philip has not been mentioned. This is NOT Philip's problem. He can offer support in how Patience deals with it and maybe provide resources and other ways to support her, but taking on the problem as his own doesn't do anything to help Patience for a variety of reasons ranging from devaluing her independence to feeding into her issues with control. Patience should be her own advocate for recovery not Philip, and though she can appreciate and respect his willingness to potentially help her acknowledge her problem and meet her potential to overcome it, the situation will always be Patience's situation. It will never become Philip's (though his concern for her having such an issue is not misplaced, and the intrusion of helping someone acknowledge that they may have a problem is often necessary). But honestly, all of these ideas are probably more likely to be explored with future subplots so perhaps I should begin speaking more generally.
The awkward thing about doing this comic is always how theoretical the situations I feature are presented. Though on occassion there are certainly similar things I may have went through, I don't have the exact same experiences of any of my characters, and neither does anyone else really have their same experiences 100%. But that doesn't mean we can't understand other people's situations or at least try to understand them nor does it mean (at least in my opinion) these characters should be regarded as irrelevant. Everything they've gone through has some basis in reality and I'm trying to offer a somewhat broad perspective on similar events. What I'm not trying to do is present a situation in the comic as specifically as what anyone should do, just as what someone could do and in the process also maybe invite people reading to ask how to approach both hypothetical situations they may experience and ones that have already occurred in both their lives and other people's. "What more could be done for an unwanted pregnancy both in terms of the woman carrying the pregnancy and the pregnancy itself?" is the question I invite people to ask rather than "What should be done?" Abortion is an option not a mandate, and the importance of having the option to have an abortion is that it allows those involved to try to find the best solution for themselves rather than necessarily imposing one upon them (while also acknowledging that "best option" doesn't necessarily mean there's a "good option").
Back to today's comic, this differentiation between "could" and "should" becomes important in Philip's and Patience's relationship as well because everything Philip seems to be doing seems based on a place of obligation ("should") rather than opportunity ("could") both for Patience and himself even though all parties would be better served with a different attitude. The intent here also is to begin showing Jennifer calling him out on this crap, albeit for reasons that are potentially suspect and certainly selfish (not to mention borderline callous), but again I think I should cut myself short on this elaboration before I go any further. I do like testing the boundaries of how insensitive Jennifer can be though.
-D
Today, I wanted to talk somewhat about the notions of supporting others and self-advocacy, which is perhaps related to dealing with victims of tragedy but I was more interested in looking at this concept in regard to ongoing situations rather than responding to specific events (though I acknowledge the two can go hand in hand as a specific incident may trigger the need for ongoing recovery). In Patience case the specifics of the origins of her eating disorder are vague, though I'm sure many people may leap to conclusions which I'm not going to deny, but at this point the events leading to her situation are less important that how she can potentially handle it today. And it's very important to note the use of pronoun there and that until this sentence Philip has not been mentioned. This is NOT Philip's problem. He can offer support in how Patience deals with it and maybe provide resources and other ways to support her, but taking on the problem as his own doesn't do anything to help Patience for a variety of reasons ranging from devaluing her independence to feeding into her issues with control. Patience should be her own advocate for recovery not Philip, and though she can appreciate and respect his willingness to potentially help her acknowledge her problem and meet her potential to overcome it, the situation will always be Patience's situation. It will never become Philip's (though his concern for her having such an issue is not misplaced, and the intrusion of helping someone acknowledge that they may have a problem is often necessary). But honestly, all of these ideas are probably more likely to be explored with future subplots so perhaps I should begin speaking more generally.
The awkward thing about doing this comic is always how theoretical the situations I feature are presented. Though on occassion there are certainly similar things I may have went through, I don't have the exact same experiences of any of my characters, and neither does anyone else really have their same experiences 100%. But that doesn't mean we can't understand other people's situations or at least try to understand them nor does it mean (at least in my opinion) these characters should be regarded as irrelevant. Everything they've gone through has some basis in reality and I'm trying to offer a somewhat broad perspective on similar events. What I'm not trying to do is present a situation in the comic as specifically as what anyone should do, just as what someone could do and in the process also maybe invite people reading to ask how to approach both hypothetical situations they may experience and ones that have already occurred in both their lives and other people's. "What more could be done for an unwanted pregnancy both in terms of the woman carrying the pregnancy and the pregnancy itself?" is the question I invite people to ask rather than "What should be done?" Abortion is an option not a mandate, and the importance of having the option to have an abortion is that it allows those involved to try to find the best solution for themselves rather than necessarily imposing one upon them (while also acknowledging that "best option" doesn't necessarily mean there's a "good option").
Back to today's comic, this differentiation between "could" and "should" becomes important in Philip's and Patience's relationship as well because everything Philip seems to be doing seems based on a place of obligation ("should") rather than opportunity ("could") both for Patience and himself even though all parties would be better served with a different attitude. The intent here also is to begin showing Jennifer calling him out on this crap, albeit for reasons that are potentially suspect and certainly selfish (not to mention borderline callous), but again I think I should cut myself short on this elaboration before I go any further. I do like testing the boundaries of how insensitive Jennifer can be though.
-D
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